u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
