Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i think i just lost a toe
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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