WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
