Too much gin, very little bucket
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just pee around me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
