I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize