Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
