And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
