Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
