I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
