I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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