Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
