I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
