Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
