He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Couch. On fire.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
