cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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