did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
