It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
