so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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