you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
