My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
