Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
