What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
