2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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