Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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