And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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