I cut my penus on the lid.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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