The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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