I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is the high leading the old right now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
