Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
