pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have feelings that need drinking.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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