Tell her she can't have a vagina
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
