We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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