I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
