Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
