The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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