I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
