sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
