i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
