Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
