he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
