I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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