Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
