garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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