are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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