i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize