I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
