All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
