I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
