maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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