You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MIDGETS
????
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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