I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
