I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
