47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize