she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
