Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
