I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just cropdusted the office
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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