At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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