Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
